This month I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and loving it. Each day I find a few lines I underline and copy into my journal. Today's devotion was difficult. There wasn't a favorite line of epiphany - yet, I think I get it.
God witnesses to His Spirit within us. However, He cannot do that until we abandon ourselves to Him in total surrender.
Boy, when God wants to make a point in my life, He knows He has to keep hammering at the same idea. Surrendering to God is something that takes daily effort in my life. I've been considering this action a lot lately. I learned this summer, that just "knowing" I surrender isn't enough. I've found that I need to pray the words and contemplate what "surrendering" to His will might mean each day. It's what works for me. This is such hard work at times. I have so many of my own plans, lists, and desires. (And many of those lists pop into my head as I'm praying.) Yet at this moment I'm reminded,"Many are the plans of man's heart, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will prevail." Proverbs 19:20
I do want God's purpose to prevail in my life. I also want God's spirit bearing witness with my spirit. It is the Lord that produces all the good in my life. It is the Holy Spirit that produces all the good fruit in me and my life. The only way for that to happen is to move my worldly self right on out of the way.
It's like hiding behind a really big rock or maybe our beautiful home, my worldly possessions, my worldly desires all rolled into this one big colossal ball. There is no way for me to see around that big ball, and there's no way for God's light to shine on me if I'm hiding behind all my stuff. I'm attached to it you might say, valuing it more than God. Yet if I step around and away from my worldly ball, I can bask in the light of His love. I guess that's why I need to surrender daily. Each day I need to consider what I think my plans are and ask myself if they line up with what God would desire in my life - loving Him and loving my neighbor as myself. Do my plans involve pumping myself up or serving others with His love? God will reveal the answer if I ask. Then I need to step away from the world and towards God. He's there waiting for everyone who desires Him.
Dearest Lord, let me bask in your light. Let my humble, small life reflect You more and more each day. Let me daily look at my life and acknowledge the things and desires that stand between us. Help me to step away from the world and towards You. Lord, forgive me for the sin I do not see and the sins I do see and ignore. Thank you for not giving up on me when I forget lessons I've already learned. Let me draw closer to You each day. Amen.
