My Little Dude

The Dude is the classic middle child. He runs under the radar most of the time. He's the peace maker and doesn't like to be the center of attention. He'd rather cover up his brother's or sister's mistakes than watch them get in trouble.

The Dude is really sweet and his presence has been such a comfort. He's always been the one who wants me to tell our family's funny stories over and over. He's also the one that always wants to hang out with the adults to hear every word we say. Since he was a baby he's been a great observer. He may not say much, but he is listening to every word and intuitively picks up on all the non-verbal language exchanged. He was born with a gift to understand others by observing them.

He's also just funny. Although I'm irritated the eighth time in one day when he hides and jumps out of me so I scream and wet my pants, I do appreciate his effort. I really like it when I know he's hiding, and I get the chance to scare him first. I love that at home he's cuddly and still wants tons of hugs. I love that he loves to play. Outdoors, indoors, any game. He's made good friends at school and loves recess. During tennis season he asked the coach to run suicides. His dad was so proud.

He actually loves school. I know it's the social side, not the work, but he usually doesn't mind the work too much. As he grows he becomes more confident in himself. That's been the neat thing to watch this year. His confidence at school, with friends, and on the basketball and tennis courts has grown. It's great to see him proud of himself rather than trying to hide in his own skin.

I just love my little Dude.

Things a Parent Never Wants to Happen

Much of the worry that Hon and I contemplated the other night at dinner has stemmed from being close to another family. This dear family is going through something with one of their children that we never want to face.



Our children are their own people. They will make choices and mistakes that shock us at times. We cannot control their entire lives and actions. Children of good parents make bad choices. Still, that doesn't let me off the hook. We need to take our role in forming their ideas and morals seriously.



Hon and I are really looking at our parenting. Are we doing what we need to do as parents? Are we doing what we should? How do we help our children form the love for God, morals, ethics, sense of self-worth and responsibility they will require as adults? It is a huge undertaking.



My heart is broken for our dear friends. At some point in my children's lives they are going to do something I can't even imagine. I know I did this to my parents. I had my own difficult lessons to learn on my own terms. So will our children. However, this has been a wake-up call for Hon and I. We don't always do the right thing. We have let our selfish desires over ride better choices for our kids. We've been known to take the easier, less confrontational way out. It's time to stand up and make sure our kids are learning the lessons they need now to become successful as adults. (And by successful, I mean happy, at peace, and God loving. Preferably with a good job.)



In the middle of this panic of "Are we doing our job as parents?", there have been gracious God moments. Little things that unless you lived our unique flavor of crazy they probably wouldn't mean a whole lot to you. Fred used a fork with his strawberries just to make his dad happy the other night. This is right after Hon and I had a long private discussion about who should continue to point out Fred's lacksadaisical table manners. Everyone cuddling up for family time at night with little prompting. Watching my shy children try to smile and shake hands with new people at church. Enjoying the laughter and silliness. Feeling the love. Letting their dad give them pointers at the bowling alley and enjoying a great score.



I have the huge gift of being home with the kids each day. I drive them crazy with my questions and always having one more little chore they could do for me as they walk through the room. Luckily, I get the gifts of their long-winded moments in the car running errands when I can actually learn about their days. I get to kiss them goodbye as they head off to school.



I pray they someday realize the effort their dad puts in with them. How he plays games with them not for himself. How he makes them help with a project not for their assistance but for their companionship and education. How he, not mom, goes to every game and most practices. How he'll read a book while yet another Disney show on TV instead of the game to be in the same room with them. I hope they realize his love language is the time he spends with them.



I pray for our dear friends. I pray they realize how God is standing right beside them in this catastrophe. I pray that the correct lessons are learned and lives are changed. I pray that God has this situation firmly in His hands for His good purpose.

Gran Torino

So who's seen Gran Torino?

It was fabulous. I'll admit it was not my first choice for a Valentine's Day date movie, but I loved it. This was classic Clint. Rough and gruff, even growly, but you still wanted to just give him a hug and go get him that next cold one.

However, it really hit some nerves for my dear husband. We spent all of our romantic dinner after the movie talking about our kids and how to stay connected. My husband was deeply feeling the challenge all parents feel. How to guide our children, which can often require firmness and critique of their actions, yet still having a loving a close relationship. How do you help them become worthwhile people without making them hate you in the process?

Yes, there was way more to Gran Torino than foul language and racism.

As I reminded Hon, sometimes when you're in the middle of the game, you can't know the final score. We're not finished raising our kids. They still needed to be reminded about table manners. (Will we ever get past that?) Luckily, there's still time for us to continue to model and mold, and they will go through the molting process before they leave our nest. The point is not to give up and continue to find ways to laugh and love along the way.

My husband's worry just makes me love him that much more. He wants to be close with all our children. He worries about raising responsible, respectful adults. In the process of making them better people, he doesn't want to damage his future relationship with them. It's a careful balance. We can't know if we're doing it the right way.

I pray that God continues to mold Hon and I to be the parents He would have us to be.

Here I Am

This is so pitiful. It's been so long since I blogged I really didn't remember what my current header looked like.

Pitiful, just pitiful.

So while I've been off doing who knows what, along with exploring the world of Facebook where you only need to write a sentence for an update, my blogging has taken a backseat. This morning, however, I caught myself blogging in my prayer journal. It could be time to try again. Rather than start on the sappiness that appeared in my journal this morning I'll leave you with this glimpse into my life.

Last night as I dropped Fred off at art he started to close the car door. I called his name; and as he peaked back into the car, I told him I loved him.

He smiled!

And I praised God for the miracle of seeing a smile on his 13 year old face.

This morning still high off the smile from last night, I gave him a big hug before he left for school and told him how proud I was of him and that I love him.

This morning...I got the big eye roll as he stomped out the door to school. Who was I to think that lightening could strike the same place twice.