Things a Parent Never Wants to Happen

Much of the worry that Hon and I contemplated the other night at dinner has stemmed from being close to another family. This dear family is going through something with one of their children that we never want to face.



Our children are their own people. They will make choices and mistakes that shock us at times. We cannot control their entire lives and actions. Children of good parents make bad choices. Still, that doesn't let me off the hook. We need to take our role in forming their ideas and morals seriously.



Hon and I are really looking at our parenting. Are we doing what we need to do as parents? Are we doing what we should? How do we help our children form the love for God, morals, ethics, sense of self-worth and responsibility they will require as adults? It is a huge undertaking.



My heart is broken for our dear friends. At some point in my children's lives they are going to do something I can't even imagine. I know I did this to my parents. I had my own difficult lessons to learn on my own terms. So will our children. However, this has been a wake-up call for Hon and I. We don't always do the right thing. We have let our selfish desires over ride better choices for our kids. We've been known to take the easier, less confrontational way out. It's time to stand up and make sure our kids are learning the lessons they need now to become successful as adults. (And by successful, I mean happy, at peace, and God loving. Preferably with a good job.)



In the middle of this panic of "Are we doing our job as parents?", there have been gracious God moments. Little things that unless you lived our unique flavor of crazy they probably wouldn't mean a whole lot to you. Fred used a fork with his strawberries just to make his dad happy the other night. This is right after Hon and I had a long private discussion about who should continue to point out Fred's lacksadaisical table manners. Everyone cuddling up for family time at night with little prompting. Watching my shy children try to smile and shake hands with new people at church. Enjoying the laughter and silliness. Feeling the love. Letting their dad give them pointers at the bowling alley and enjoying a great score.



I have the huge gift of being home with the kids each day. I drive them crazy with my questions and always having one more little chore they could do for me as they walk through the room. Luckily, I get the gifts of their long-winded moments in the car running errands when I can actually learn about their days. I get to kiss them goodbye as they head off to school.



I pray they someday realize the effort their dad puts in with them. How he plays games with them not for himself. How he makes them help with a project not for their assistance but for their companionship and education. How he, not mom, goes to every game and most practices. How he'll read a book while yet another Disney show on TV instead of the game to be in the same room with them. I hope they realize his love language is the time he spends with them.



I pray for our dear friends. I pray they realize how God is standing right beside them in this catastrophe. I pray that the correct lessons are learned and lives are changed. I pray that God has this situation firmly in His hands for His good purpose.

But You'll Be Cold...

Good news! I'm back to worrying about if the kids did their homework or studied for their tests.

I'm one of those moms. I'm going to be one my whole life. You know, the ones who ask if you need a jacket when you're sweating.

"You might get cold waiting for the bus," I reason.

"Are you sure?" I ask, knowing the answer.

This morning, on cue, I asked if he wanted his jacket. He looked back with the hint of a grin, to judge my reaction, and declared,

"It's warm!"

I noticed the need for him to make his own decision and more importantly for me not to push my opinion. I lowered the unnecessary jacket and watched my growing boy/man head down the street towards the bus.

I pray I will see the opportunities for him to make his own choices to learn the lessons he needs to become a man. Choosing a jacket or not is so small compared to some of the choices he'll need to make in this lifetime. There will be much more difficult moments when he'll make choices I'll really want to protest. I pray God leads me to be the mother he needs to become a God seeking man.

We've Lost the Vacation in Summer Vacation

Sometimes I think I've become a curmugeon already. I've forgotten that life should just be fun at times. Each year I seem to get a little more uptight and anxious. I'm so worried about doing the right thing, the right way, that I forget to just let loose and have a little fun. Point in fact, it's the 12th day of summer vacation, yet I'm so worried about having summer activities and not just wasting the summer away that we haven't had a chance to relax yet.

I finally squeezed in one measely 10 minute nap in the last 12 days.

In the name of summer laziness. That's just not right!!!

So here's to relaxing and re-discovering my funny bone. I'm pretty sure it's hiding with my lazy bones.

Power Washing for Fun and Entertainment

Who knew power washing a deck was so much fun?

Now, I know why my husband has never let me touch one before, and why most men I know get all excited about the prospect of owning their own power washer.

A big thanks to my friend Lisa who let me borrow their power washer. Although I have no prior power washing experience, I figured if my dear friend Karen (who did not learn to pump gas until after college) can handle her family's deck maintenance, I definitely had to give it a try.

As I told Hon, "If I do a horrible job, we simply hire someone to do it after all."

Oh, baby, I've found a whole new skill set. I have a feeling that my yearly deck power washing and re-sealing will be a highlight of the spring cleaning season. I can even put it on my stay-at-home-mom resume. It would of course go under specialty skills, not under necessary skills like: wipes noses, does homework, sews costumes, soothes childhood angst, looks for lost items, all while cooking dinner skills.

My Stay-at-Home-Mom Specialty Skills

• Spreads dump trucks full of mulch each spring
• Solves electricity and circuit breaker issues caused by...
• Outdoor Christmas lighting schemes
• blows up and repairs small appliances at inopportune moments
• assembles furniture
• deck power washing for fun and entertainment

One small note of caution to anyone else who tries their hand at power washing. Umm...as you power wash small bits of debris will start to cover your feet and legs. Rinsing your legs and feet off with aforementioned power washer...not your best idea. I only wish I could remember that little tidbit of wisdom.

Anyone willing to take bets on how many times I pulverize my toes today???

Goodmorning, Sunshine!

There's nothing like the sweet kisses and cuddles of a child waking. My daughter will still wrap her long legs around me and nestle her head in the crook of my neck. Her sweet smell and the love we both feel makes me dread how she grows a little bigger each day. You see she's 8, and I know these days won't last forever. Even though she' s the baby of the family and plays that card to her full advantage at all times, she doesn't like to hold my hand in public very often and getting another kiss before bedtime is highly unlikely. I probably just got the best hugs and kisses I'll get all day from my baby girl. She held me tight and snuggled in close and let me kiss her as many times as I could. Being a mommy is good.

And the Results Are In...

I know you’ve been dying to know. What on earth did I wear? How did my hair handle the humidity and splashing? Have I found my calling as a Swim Meet Marshal? Well, let’s just start with what my daughter said when I came downstairs,

“Mom, why are you dressed so pretty for a swim meet.”

I hoped it was a good omen.

First, women dress a little differently here than from where we moved. Here the prime colors combinations are black, black, khaki, brown, black and maybe a touch of white for special occasions. To say my predominantly pink wardrobe still garners comments and second looks is an understatement. Luckily, the head swim team person (official lingo) caught me before I got dressed and told me that everyone working the swim meet was to wear black shorts and a white shirt. I opted for a black skort/white polo combo and was relieved that I was just going to blend in with all the other parent volunteers.

Yeah.

Except for that neon orange vest.

It’s a good thing my daughter told me I looked pretty before we left the house, because my husband stood behind me and heckled me during the meet. I think it was more than just the vest. I’m not sure he was duly impressed with my marshaling. So how did I do?

Let’s just say, I don’t think they added a 3 chair barrier beside where I was standing, because I was doing such a great job.

However, there is reason to celebrate. My little Birdie swam great! She placed 3rd in her favorite event and improved her times in both events. She was thrilled. As her mom, I know her excitement is what it’s all about.