This week I've made more of an effort to just enjoy some of the special friendships I have. As I mentioned on Monday, lately I've been a little bit of a hermit - Holding on to the little time I have.
You know what? When I look back on the time I hoarded to vacuum, do errands, and let's not forget worry, it's not as valuable as the time I spend laughing with friends.
Both friends I spent time with on Tuesday had almost identical conversations on this subject. And no, I did not bring the same subject up twice. We talked about when we become so busy that we feel stressed and pulled that we push away and hide. Yet, it is time in relationship that brings us comfort and joy.
We all have way too much to do. We all feel the guilt of not "doing it all." Often we push time for friendship out the door first before all the other "necessary" committments in our lives. While I know I personally need a little down time, there is a balance. Yet, that place of balance continuously sifts as the circumstances in our lives shift. I'm just happy that I feel my time of pondering alone at home is over. I'm ready for some giggles with my peeps.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Gorgeous Spring Flower Sale on Lawyers Road
What a beautiful day filled with gorgeous friends and flowers! Definitely my idea of a the perfect day.
I love how these petals are just drenched in color. The peonies on the verge of opening just looked like velvet begging the ants to touch them.
This beautiful yard/field of flowers is on Lawyers Road here in Fairfax County. Anyone is allowed to come and spend time amazed at God's creativity for as long as they like. Often artists set up and work for the day. It's a dream of mine to do that one today, but today it was a half hour of enjoying God's beauty before heading to a delicious lunch.
This Saturday at 9 am they have their yearly sale. They have gajillion varieties of irises, siberian irises, peonies, and daylillies. I'll go back in early July to see the daylillies.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Dreams of Dresses
Colonial Day is coming to the Fourth Grade. I love colonial dresses. For three summers I was in an Summer Stock outdoor drama about the Revolutionary War. I loved my costumes, the petticoats, the mob caps, the tight bodices. I was so excited. I've been dreaming of making a colonial dress for Birdie.
Dreaming would be the key word there wouldn't it.
Birdie has decided she wants to wear a Continental Soldier's uniform. Specifically she wants to be part of the rag tag army of Valley Forge. She's thinks we should tear her shirt some and is worried we won't be able to make it dirty enough. She's probably already planned where to put the blood stains.
My dreams will remain a dream. I could possibly make her a dress along with the soldier's uniform, but I'm pretty sure she'd forcibly put it on once and tell me how much it bothers her.
Maybe one day I'll have a granddaughter who loves bows and dresses. But then her mom will probably make her wear practical pants all the time.
Dreaming would be the key word there wouldn't it.
Birdie has decided she wants to wear a Continental Soldier's uniform. Specifically she wants to be part of the rag tag army of Valley Forge. She's thinks we should tear her shirt some and is worried we won't be able to make it dirty enough. She's probably already planned where to put the blood stains.
My dreams will remain a dream. I could possibly make her a dress along with the soldier's uniform, but I'm pretty sure she'd forcibly put it on once and tell me how much it bothers her.
Maybe one day I'll have a granddaughter who loves bows and dresses. But then her mom will probably make her wear practical pants all the time.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Great Banquet Reminders
This past weekend was NOVA Great Banquet #32. It's been a year since my Great Banquet weekend. A whole year. Wow. As I sat at the closing ceremony for this year's guests and heard what they had personally learned during their weekend and what they were going to do about it, I, of course, thought about my weekend experience and what I had done about it.
God loves me more deeply than I ever imagined. Have a shared that love with others? Yes, mostly.
Have I felt more secure and been more trusting of His direction?
Ummm....maybe not so much. Just by popping in and out to help a little bit this weekend my eyes were opened to a few new truths. I love how God can use random short conversations to speak to something you've been pondering.
Obedience is the area where I need focus. It's funny how you don't even realize you're being disobedient sometimes. In the last few months, I've been so busy worrying and protecting myself and my time that I have missed the gifts of following God's direction. I've worried what I have to offer certainly is no where near enough or good enough, so I would just wait until I had enough to share. I have begrudingly followed the path He has offered and directed me down, all the while questioning and worrying and stressing and even resenting at times.
I was beautifully reminded by Pastor Glenda that God doesn't ask us to perform the miracle. He asks us to participate and offer what we have. He'll take care of the rest. If I offer up what I have unconditionally, God's glory shines.
I also took time to read over the letters I received last year at the Great Banquet. I sat there pondering, "Where did that generous, fun-loving girl go?" Was that truly me? What happened? I've become quite the hermit the last 6 months. I've found it much easier to push away and do it on my own time table. Yet, I miss the joy and excitement and relationships I treasure. How many times do I have to learn the same lessons?
Quiet time each and every morning builds my relationship with Christ. Enough said. It makes everything better. It makes the times I have no words for prayers, just groans, bearable. There is a light in our home and in me when I begin each day with God. Quick prayers on the run just don't work for me anymore. Halfway putting in a show of effort a few times a week just doesn't cut it. I know this yet, at times I push back. Why?
Lately, I've felt the Spirit encourage me to give up something. I know exactly what. I cannot figure out why in the world I need to do so. A friend pointed out that sometimes it's more about obedience than the what.
I keep asking,
"Why??? Are you sure??? Have I imagined this?"
Yet, this nagging feeling doesn't leave me. I wish I could say I was finally obeying out of a grateful heart. Instead, I'm obeying and praying for God's help to obey. And worrying about when I'll disobey and when I'll get time off for good behavior. I'm also praying I won't have to do this very long, which probably destroys in value of obeying in the first place.
Dearest Lord,
Thanks for your timing in my life. Time for me to realize that You are Lord of all. Thank you for the time to be stubborn, yet still delightfully loved by You. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for those brief moments of clarity. I ask forgiveness for my stubbornness and self-centeredness. I beg for your strength to follow and to be filled by Your spirit, so I might know and understand you better. In your son's most holy name. Amen.
God loves me more deeply than I ever imagined. Have a shared that love with others? Yes, mostly.
Have I felt more secure and been more trusting of His direction?
Ummm....maybe not so much. Just by popping in and out to help a little bit this weekend my eyes were opened to a few new truths. I love how God can use random short conversations to speak to something you've been pondering.
Obedience is the area where I need focus. It's funny how you don't even realize you're being disobedient sometimes. In the last few months, I've been so busy worrying and protecting myself and my time that I have missed the gifts of following God's direction. I've worried what I have to offer certainly is no where near enough or good enough, so I would just wait until I had enough to share. I have begrudingly followed the path He has offered and directed me down, all the while questioning and worrying and stressing and even resenting at times.
I was beautifully reminded by Pastor Glenda that God doesn't ask us to perform the miracle. He asks us to participate and offer what we have. He'll take care of the rest. If I offer up what I have unconditionally, God's glory shines.
I also took time to read over the letters I received last year at the Great Banquet. I sat there pondering, "Where did that generous, fun-loving girl go?" Was that truly me? What happened? I've become quite the hermit the last 6 months. I've found it much easier to push away and do it on my own time table. Yet, I miss the joy and excitement and relationships I treasure. How many times do I have to learn the same lessons?
Quiet time each and every morning builds my relationship with Christ. Enough said. It makes everything better. It makes the times I have no words for prayers, just groans, bearable. There is a light in our home and in me when I begin each day with God. Quick prayers on the run just don't work for me anymore. Halfway putting in a show of effort a few times a week just doesn't cut it. I know this yet, at times I push back. Why?
Lately, I've felt the Spirit encourage me to give up something. I know exactly what. I cannot figure out why in the world I need to do so. A friend pointed out that sometimes it's more about obedience than the what.
I keep asking,
"Why??? Are you sure??? Have I imagined this?"
Yet, this nagging feeling doesn't leave me. I wish I could say I was finally obeying out of a grateful heart. Instead, I'm obeying and praying for God's help to obey. And worrying about when I'll disobey and when I'll get time off for good behavior. I'm also praying I won't have to do this very long, which probably destroys in value of obeying in the first place.
Dearest Lord,
Thanks for your timing in my life. Time for me to realize that You are Lord of all. Thank you for the time to be stubborn, yet still delightfully loved by You. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for those brief moments of clarity. I ask forgiveness for my stubbornness and self-centeredness. I beg for your strength to follow and to be filled by Your spirit, so I might know and understand you better. In your son's most holy name. Amen.
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