Colonial Day is coming to the Fourth Grade. I love colonial dresses. For three summers I was in an Summer Stock outdoor drama about the Revolutionary War. I loved my costumes, the petticoats, the mob caps, the tight bodices. I was so excited. I've been dreaming of making a colonial dress for Birdie.
Dreaming would be the key word there wouldn't it.
Birdie has decided she wants to wear a Continental Soldier's uniform. Specifically she wants to be part of the rag tag army of Valley Forge. She's thinks we should tear her shirt some and is worried we won't be able to make it dirty enough. She's probably already planned where to put the blood stains.
My dreams will remain a dream. I could possibly make her a dress along with the soldier's uniform, but I'm pretty sure she'd forcibly put it on once and tell me how much it bothers her.
Maybe one day I'll have a granddaughter who loves bows and dresses. But then her mom will probably make her wear practical pants all the time.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Great Banquet Reminders
This past weekend was NOVA Great Banquet #32. It's been a year since my Great Banquet weekend. A whole year. Wow. As I sat at the closing ceremony for this year's guests and heard what they had personally learned during their weekend and what they were going to do about it, I, of course, thought about my weekend experience and what I had done about it.
God loves me more deeply than I ever imagined. Have a shared that love with others? Yes, mostly.
Have I felt more secure and been more trusting of His direction?
Ummm....maybe not so much. Just by popping in and out to help a little bit this weekend my eyes were opened to a few new truths. I love how God can use random short conversations to speak to something you've been pondering.
Obedience is the area where I need focus. It's funny how you don't even realize you're being disobedient sometimes. In the last few months, I've been so busy worrying and protecting myself and my time that I have missed the gifts of following God's direction. I've worried what I have to offer certainly is no where near enough or good enough, so I would just wait until I had enough to share. I have begrudingly followed the path He has offered and directed me down, all the while questioning and worrying and stressing and even resenting at times.
I was beautifully reminded by Pastor Glenda that God doesn't ask us to perform the miracle. He asks us to participate and offer what we have. He'll take care of the rest. If I offer up what I have unconditionally, God's glory shines.
I also took time to read over the letters I received last year at the Great Banquet. I sat there pondering, "Where did that generous, fun-loving girl go?" Was that truly me? What happened? I've become quite the hermit the last 6 months. I've found it much easier to push away and do it on my own time table. Yet, I miss the joy and excitement and relationships I treasure. How many times do I have to learn the same lessons?
Quiet time each and every morning builds my relationship with Christ. Enough said. It makes everything better. It makes the times I have no words for prayers, just groans, bearable. There is a light in our home and in me when I begin each day with God. Quick prayers on the run just don't work for me anymore. Halfway putting in a show of effort a few times a week just doesn't cut it. I know this yet, at times I push back. Why?
Lately, I've felt the Spirit encourage me to give up something. I know exactly what. I cannot figure out why in the world I need to do so. A friend pointed out that sometimes it's more about obedience than the what.
I keep asking,
"Why??? Are you sure??? Have I imagined this?"
Yet, this nagging feeling doesn't leave me. I wish I could say I was finally obeying out of a grateful heart. Instead, I'm obeying and praying for God's help to obey. And worrying about when I'll disobey and when I'll get time off for good behavior. I'm also praying I won't have to do this very long, which probably destroys in value of obeying in the first place.
Dearest Lord,
Thanks for your timing in my life. Time for me to realize that You are Lord of all. Thank you for the time to be stubborn, yet still delightfully loved by You. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for those brief moments of clarity. I ask forgiveness for my stubbornness and self-centeredness. I beg for your strength to follow and to be filled by Your spirit, so I might know and understand you better. In your son's most holy name. Amen.
God loves me more deeply than I ever imagined. Have a shared that love with others? Yes, mostly.
Have I felt more secure and been more trusting of His direction?
Ummm....maybe not so much. Just by popping in and out to help a little bit this weekend my eyes were opened to a few new truths. I love how God can use random short conversations to speak to something you've been pondering.
Obedience is the area where I need focus. It's funny how you don't even realize you're being disobedient sometimes. In the last few months, I've been so busy worrying and protecting myself and my time that I have missed the gifts of following God's direction. I've worried what I have to offer certainly is no where near enough or good enough, so I would just wait until I had enough to share. I have begrudingly followed the path He has offered and directed me down, all the while questioning and worrying and stressing and even resenting at times.
I was beautifully reminded by Pastor Glenda that God doesn't ask us to perform the miracle. He asks us to participate and offer what we have. He'll take care of the rest. If I offer up what I have unconditionally, God's glory shines.
I also took time to read over the letters I received last year at the Great Banquet. I sat there pondering, "Where did that generous, fun-loving girl go?" Was that truly me? What happened? I've become quite the hermit the last 6 months. I've found it much easier to push away and do it on my own time table. Yet, I miss the joy and excitement and relationships I treasure. How many times do I have to learn the same lessons?
Quiet time each and every morning builds my relationship with Christ. Enough said. It makes everything better. It makes the times I have no words for prayers, just groans, bearable. There is a light in our home and in me when I begin each day with God. Quick prayers on the run just don't work for me anymore. Halfway putting in a show of effort a few times a week just doesn't cut it. I know this yet, at times I push back. Why?
Lately, I've felt the Spirit encourage me to give up something. I know exactly what. I cannot figure out why in the world I need to do so. A friend pointed out that sometimes it's more about obedience than the what.
I keep asking,
"Why??? Are you sure??? Have I imagined this?"
Yet, this nagging feeling doesn't leave me. I wish I could say I was finally obeying out of a grateful heart. Instead, I'm obeying and praying for God's help to obey. And worrying about when I'll disobey and when I'll get time off for good behavior. I'm also praying I won't have to do this very long, which probably destroys in value of obeying in the first place.
Dearest Lord,
Thanks for your timing in my life. Time for me to realize that You are Lord of all. Thank you for the time to be stubborn, yet still delightfully loved by You. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for those brief moments of clarity. I ask forgiveness for my stubbornness and self-centeredness. I beg for your strength to follow and to be filled by Your spirit, so I might know and understand you better. In your son's most holy name. Amen.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Trying to Memorize Scripture
Memorizing scripture has been on my heart for a while. However, every time I consider trying to memorize scripture I told myself I just couldn't. It would be impossible. Yet this morning when I picked up my stack of index cards where I jot favorite scriptures, I realized today was the day to start. The one on top was a perfect one for my day today.
I even memorized where the scripture is found. Amazing.
I've also realized that I could. I just didn't want to put forth the effort. In that, I was disobedient to the urging of the Spirit. I also know that listening and following God's urging will bring His blessing to my life. This isn't a hard task to avoid; it's a celebration of God's living word in my life. Thank You, Lord!
Above all, let me love others deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins. Let me use whatever gift I have received, faithfully administering your grace in its various forms. Let me serve with the strength that you provide, so in all things you, O Lord, receive the credit and the glory. 1 Peter 4:8-11
I even memorized where the scripture is found. Amazing.
I've also realized that I could. I just didn't want to put forth the effort. In that, I was disobedient to the urging of the Spirit. I also know that listening and following God's urging will bring His blessing to my life. This isn't a hard task to avoid; it's a celebration of God's living word in my life. Thank You, Lord!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Email - stink mail
I've had so many sweet, touching wonderful God print moments on my mind the last few days. Stories I haven't had the time to write about, even if I could decide how I wanted to tell them. However at this particular moment...
I'm just mad!
Mad at one of my children's teachers. Mad at the situation, how she handles teaching material, and most specifically how she replied to an email I sent asking for guidance and assistance for our child. I asked how we could help, explained how we had helped, and asked which assignment he had not turned in. She gave no direction. She gave a comment about not having homework because although he had his homework, she thought he wasn't prepared the morning after my husband had spent an hour going over the homework with said child.
I'm ticked!
Responding to the email again is useless. I would obviously make things worse in this state of mind. She gave no positive direction. She said the last unit was hard; the next should be easier.
Psthsthsthsthsth!!!! I raspberry this situation. I also pray, I will put it out of my mind.
I'm just mad!
Mad at one of my children's teachers. Mad at the situation, how she handles teaching material, and most specifically how she replied to an email I sent asking for guidance and assistance for our child. I asked how we could help, explained how we had helped, and asked which assignment he had not turned in. She gave no direction. She gave a comment about not having homework because although he had his homework, she thought he wasn't prepared the morning after my husband had spent an hour going over the homework with said child.
I'm ticked!
Responding to the email again is useless. I would obviously make things worse in this state of mind. She gave no positive direction. She said the last unit was hard; the next should be easier.
Psthsthsthsthsth!!!! I raspberry this situation. I also pray, I will put it out of my mind.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Spring Weather Alert
Spring! Spring weather is here!
I've been busy planting new pansies, or better known as deer candy. I also had my first daffodil bloom today. It was one that I brought back from my family farm last spring. I love that the little daffodils I grew up with are now blooming for my kids here. I'm sure we have more cold weather to endure, but I was glad to have the chance to dig in the dirt a little. I also still have time I to draw out my plans for my summer garden. We've already decided to use netting over our hostas this year. Last year most of them were eaten before they had fully leafed.
I also stopped by the first lemonade stand of the season. It's so fun to see everyone excited about the warm weather and daylight savings time. It's amazing that a week ago we were celebrating a snow day!
I've been busy planting new pansies, or better known as deer candy. I also had my first daffodil bloom today. It was one that I brought back from my family farm last spring. I love that the little daffodils I grew up with are now blooming for my kids here. I'm sure we have more cold weather to endure, but I was glad to have the chance to dig in the dirt a little. I also still have time I to draw out my plans for my summer garden. We've already decided to use netting over our hostas this year. Last year most of them were eaten before they had fully leafed.
I also stopped by the first lemonade stand of the season. It's so fun to see everyone excited about the warm weather and daylight savings time. It's amazing that a week ago we were celebrating a snow day!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Prayers for A
I awoke feeling guilty for complaining about my lovely old lady medicine. I am humbly grateful that there are wonderful medicines for me to take. I just pop two little pills and hopefully these signs of aging will magically disappear, or perhaps miraculously heal would be the better analogy.
There, that's off my chest.
I spoke with my oldest best friend last night. We grew up a few miles from each other. We rode the same bus for hours each day. Our grandparents went to high school together. Our ties and history go way back.
We don't get the chance to talk everyday, but we can dive right into the deep stuff and completely understand where the other one is coming from. K was trying to explain to a co-worker how she loves to hear the snow fall. Her co-worker thought she was crazy, but I understood immediately. I grieve for my children that they haven't had the chance to stand in the field on the farm where I grew up and listen to the snow fall. To watch the trees across the field glisten with ice and hear them creak and crack as the wind blows. It's hard to describe the wonder of feeling like the only one in a snow storm.
K's dear grandma A is on my heart. She's 94. She and my granddaddy were the leads in their high school senior play. Picturing that cracks me up. K's grandma is finally suffering from memory problems. And she realizes it. She's so frustrated. As Grandma A says, "This medicine is not fixing my brain!" (Her normal meds aren't supposed to, but she's forgotten what her medications treat.)
So today, I lift up prayers for a dear woman who loves the Lord with all her heart, yet fears the next step of her life's journey. I pray that God brings peace to the wonderful women in their family that will so deeply grieve her passing, someday, and at the same time celebrate her birth into eternal life with God. I pray they have the time together to say the deep feelings on their hearts and that God's fingerprints are all over this experience so that their faith grows exponentially. Amen.
There, that's off my chest.
I spoke with my oldest best friend last night. We grew up a few miles from each other. We rode the same bus for hours each day. Our grandparents went to high school together. Our ties and history go way back.
We don't get the chance to talk everyday, but we can dive right into the deep stuff and completely understand where the other one is coming from. K was trying to explain to a co-worker how she loves to hear the snow fall. Her co-worker thought she was crazy, but I understood immediately. I grieve for my children that they haven't had the chance to stand in the field on the farm where I grew up and listen to the snow fall. To watch the trees across the field glisten with ice and hear them creak and crack as the wind blows. It's hard to describe the wonder of feeling like the only one in a snow storm.
K's dear grandma A is on my heart. She's 94. She and my granddaddy were the leads in their high school senior play. Picturing that cracks me up. K's grandma is finally suffering from memory problems. And she realizes it. She's so frustrated. As Grandma A says, "This medicine is not fixing my brain!" (Her normal meds aren't supposed to, but she's forgotten what her medications treat.)
So today, I lift up prayers for a dear woman who loves the Lord with all her heart, yet fears the next step of her life's journey. I pray that God brings peace to the wonderful women in their family that will so deeply grieve her passing, someday, and at the same time celebrate her birth into eternal life with God. I pray they have the time together to say the deep feelings on their hearts and that God's fingerprints are all over this experience so that their faith grows exponentially. Amen.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Another Day Another Trip to the Doctor
Hello. My name is Katie. I am 39 years old. Not yet 40, just 39. Until a month ago, I was a pretty healthy 39 year young woman. My hip aches since the birth of our baby 10 years ago, but hey, we all have some aches. Right?
Today, I am headed out to pick up two old lady prescriptions. A month ago, my biggest worries about turning 40 was what kind of new wrinkle cream to try and should I cut my hair short again or would I look ridiculous trying to grow it long.
I looked at my doctor this morning and said, "What the ?????" I haven't been in here 4 times in the last 4 years. I've been to the doctor 5 times in 8 days, I have an irritated hiatal hernia that you keep reminding me happens with age, and now you're telling me I have to come back in two weeks to see if this blood pressure medicine you're prescribing works.
I'm really glad he didn't check my blood pressure right then.
The good news is that I can take both my old lady pills together. Then I can have a nice warm cup of tea. Not coffee, of course. Boy that sure does make me look forward to getting up each morning. Of course as my dear husband keeps reminding me aging is better than not aging. I personally think my genes have already signed me up for AARP.
This hernia better feel better soon, because if I get any other old lady news I'm going to need a drink.
Today, I am headed out to pick up two old lady prescriptions. A month ago, my biggest worries about turning 40 was what kind of new wrinkle cream to try and should I cut my hair short again or would I look ridiculous trying to grow it long.
I looked at my doctor this morning and said, "What the ?????" I haven't been in here 4 times in the last 4 years. I've been to the doctor 5 times in 8 days, I have an irritated hiatal hernia that you keep reminding me happens with age, and now you're telling me I have to come back in two weeks to see if this blood pressure medicine you're prescribing works.
I'm really glad he didn't check my blood pressure right then.
The good news is that I can take both my old lady pills together. Then I can have a nice warm cup of tea. Not coffee, of course. Boy that sure does make me look forward to getting up each morning. Of course as my dear husband keeps reminding me aging is better than not aging. I personally think my genes have already signed me up for AARP.
This hernia better feel better soon, because if I get any other old lady news I'm going to need a drink.
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