One of my favorite quotes of a college guy friend is, "I wish I still knew everything I knew at 17. Because at 17 - I knew everything!"
Our oldest is right there.
His questions - or more accurately - critiques of us, his parents, really show how he is thinking about life and life choices at this stage. His critiques are usually of our parenting of his younger brother and sister. He wants us to be great parents and has no problem telling us where we could be, get this, stricter. But as we delve deep into a discussion, I usually realize there are questions behind his critiques. He's looking for our reasoning behind our choices and actions. He's looking for our statements and actions to match. Last night's conversation made me realize that these conversations will shape the type of parent he becomes one day. A day that I hope is more than a decade away, I might add.
Last night one topic he broached was sex. I laughed to myself when I heard the same exact words I had spoken at his age.
"Parents act like sex is some terrible thing."
And to some degree, we do. We talk about abstinence, pregnancies, diseases. We talk about waiting. Don't do it yet. Only once you're married.
He wanted real life answers to his very real questions. He didn't want to perfect answers that parents "should say." He wanted us to be real with him.
And while I was embarrassed at times, we had a great talk just the two of us. Afterwards, I brought his father and he together and brokered another talk. Our oldest has an easier time talking with me; yet, I hear from both my son and husband how they wish it was easier to talk to each other. I forced the issue last night, because I knew much of the wisdom I shared with our son, actually came from my conversations with Hon.
I'm so glad we had such an open and honest conversation. I will forever laugh and hopefully so laugh with my son over how many times Hon said, "So there are three issues with sex - pregnancy, diseases, and emotions."
Those were apparently his talking points, and he came back to that sentence over and over again. I swear the first time our son has sex he's going to be thinking, "Pregnancies, diseases, emotions." You had to be there. But oh, are we such "parents" at times.
Did we bring up God in our conversation last night? No.
Was I praying for his guidance and wisdom? Absolutely!!!
May God continue to guide our conversations. May he be involved in our every word and action. May he continue to build trust between our children and us. May this be just one of many talks. Amen.
