The Difference a Year Makes

It's amazing the difference a year makes.

While these particular pictures aren't the best at showing how much he's grown, on the left is Fred at the end of 7th grade after the National Jr. Honor Society Induction. On the right was last week, end of 8th grade as he received his pin for NJHS. (I still think parents should at least get a sticker for planning and providing all transportation for the 15 hours of community service.)

As he walked across the stage a mom in front of me commented, "He looks ready for high school. He'll fit in; he's the right size."

She's right. He's ready. And amazingly I am too.

I read a post the other day about a mom wanting to freeze time and stop her kids from getting any bigger because time is moving way too fast. I agree that at times it does move way too fast. I miss squeezing those chubby legs and hearing peals of giggles while playing chase. I also teared up the other day in Target when I saw the graduation supplies and realized we were only 4 short years from that milestone. However, these two years of middle school have also been precious. I love watching Fred grow physically and mature in all ways. Oh, I've worried myself silly and annoyed my friends with endless conversations on the subject of "what in the world are we going to do with Fred?" But I've been blessed that those same worries led me to prayer and granted me God's blessed answers to those prayers. Sometimes we get a glimpse that he does listen to us. We do help form his life and choices. As we as parents grow and release him to make some of his own choices, he makes good ones and gains confidence.

The general opinion in our area is that middle school is tough and once you get to high school it seems a little better. Fred came to me over that little bit of insight yesterday.

He said, "Mom, middle school has been great. I don't know why everyone worries about it. I was thinking on the bus today, that if I liked middle school, its the best school I've ever been in, maybe high school will be awful for me instead."

There's my positive thinker. I assured him that life was only going to get better. I pray it does only get better. I'm going to continue to enjoy his growth. I'll always have me sweet memories of a little boy with a big belly laugh, but I don't want to miss any of the new things to come.

Longest Week Ever

I just want to state for the record that last week was the longest short week of my life. Having a holiday for Memorial Day only seemed to make the rest of the week more hectic. Adding a barbeque for our Small Group on Monday might not have been the most relaxing way to spend an extra day off. Especially when I spent the first 2 hours stressed that I had not made enough baked beans or bought enough Diet Coke, and what would we do if we ran out of either? Should I send Hon, who was busy entertaining everyone with bocce ball to the store for more? Oh, the dilemna!

You'll be happy to know that the Diet Coke drinkers happily switched to my preferred Diet Pepsi, and we did run out of beans just before the last person went through the buffet line - me. To be honest, I had probably tasted more than a serving's worth while making the woefully small amount of baked beans.

I spent the rest of the week wondering what day it was and why was it not Friday yet. We started swim team practices, tried to start tennis, had many rain outs, a National Junior Honor Society Pinning, and more basketball on top of our normal stuff. Why wonder I'm having trouble pulling myself out of bed before 7 am. I also had a major stand off with the school "powers to be" over the Dude's schedule for middle school.

I know the above paragraph may be boring, but its probably better than a post about each of those events. I'll save myself the time and trouble of long posts and sum up what I learned last week.

1. Always buy 3 2 liters of Diet Coke for our small group. They love the stuff.

2. Keep bandaids on hand for older teenage boys. Apparently bloody hands from using a splinter filled fence as home base is not enough for them to actually use the tree next to the fence instead. Bandaids are a mark of honor.

3. I must be an advocate for my children, even though I hate confrontation. Just because something is the right thing to do and makes sense, does not mean a school system will do it. Unfortunately, the squeaky wheel does get the attention. While that principle makes me steam, my children are well worth it.

4. It's a really good thing I'm already on blood pressure medicine, so I can handle situations like # 3.

5. Saving up all the laundry for a week is a great excuse to finish an excellent book. World Without End was almost as good as Pillars of the Earth. Good enough that I'm already saving up laundry for a re-read.

Balancing Committments and Friendships

This week I've made more of an effort to just enjoy some of the special friendships I have. As I mentioned on Monday, lately I've been a little bit of a hermit - Holding on to the little time I have.

You know what? When I look back on the time I hoarded to vacuum, do errands, and let's not forget worry, it's not as valuable as the time I spend laughing with friends.

Both friends I spent time with on Tuesday had almost identical conversations on this subject. And no, I did not bring the same subject up twice. We talked about when we become so busy that we feel stressed and pulled that we push away and hide. Yet, it is time in relationship that brings us comfort and joy.

We all have way too much to do. We all feel the guilt of not "doing it all." Often we push time for friendship out the door first before all the other "necessary" committments in our lives. While I know I personally need a little down time, there is a balance. Yet, that place of balance continuously sifts as the circumstances in our lives shift. I'm just happy that I feel my time of pondering alone at home is over. I'm ready for some giggles with my peeps.

Gorgeous Spring Flower Sale on Lawyers Road

What a beautiful day filled with gorgeous friends and flowers! Definitely my idea of a the perfect day.

I love how these petals are just drenched in color. The peonies on the verge of opening just looked like velvet begging the ants to touch them.

This beautiful yard/field of flowers is on Lawyers Road here in Fairfax County. Anyone is allowed to come and spend time amazed at God's creativity for as long as they like. Often artists set up and work for the day. It's a dream of mine to do that one today, but today it was a half hour of enjoying God's beauty before heading to a delicious lunch.

This Saturday at 9 am they have their yearly sale. They have gajillion varieties of irises, siberian irises, peonies, and daylillies. I'll go back in early July to see the daylillies.

Taking time to see and enjoy creation. A free gift that restores the soul.

Dreams of Dresses

Colonial Day is coming to the Fourth Grade. I love colonial dresses. For three summers I was in an Summer Stock outdoor drama about the Revolutionary War. I loved my costumes, the petticoats, the mob caps, the tight bodices. I was so excited. I've been dreaming of making a colonial dress for Birdie.

Dreaming would be the key word there wouldn't it.

Birdie has decided she wants to wear a Continental Soldier's uniform. Specifically she wants to be part of the rag tag army of Valley Forge. She's thinks we should tear her shirt some and is worried we won't be able to make it dirty enough. She's probably already planned where to put the blood stains.

My dreams will remain a dream. I could possibly make her a dress along with the soldier's uniform, but I'm pretty sure she'd forcibly put it on once and tell me how much it bothers her.

Maybe one day I'll have a granddaughter who loves bows and dresses. But then her mom will probably make her wear practical pants all the time.

Great Banquet Reminders

This past weekend was NOVA Great Banquet #32. It's been a year since my Great Banquet weekend. A whole year. Wow. As I sat at the closing ceremony for this year's guests and heard what they had personally learned during their weekend and what they were going to do about it, I, of course, thought about my weekend experience and what I had done about it.

God loves me more deeply than I ever imagined. Have a shared that love with others? Yes, mostly.

Have I felt more secure and been more trusting of His direction?

Ummm....maybe not so much. Just by popping in and out to help a little bit this weekend my eyes were opened to a few new truths. I love how God can use random short conversations to speak to something you've been pondering.

Obedience is the area where I need focus. It's funny how you don't even realize you're being disobedient sometimes. In the last few months, I've been so busy worrying and protecting myself and my time that I have missed the gifts of following God's direction. I've worried what I have to offer certainly is no where near enough or good enough, so I would just wait until I had enough to share. I have begrudingly followed the path He has offered and directed me down, all the while questioning and worrying and stressing and even resenting at times.

I was beautifully reminded by Pastor Glenda that God doesn't ask us to perform the miracle. He asks us to participate and offer what we have. He'll take care of the rest. If I offer up what I have unconditionally, God's glory shines.

I also took time to read over the letters I received last year at the Great Banquet. I sat there pondering, "Where did that generous, fun-loving girl go?" Was that truly me? What happened? I've become quite the hermit the last 6 months. I've found it much easier to push away and do it on my own time table. Yet, I miss the joy and excitement and relationships I treasure. How many times do I have to learn the same lessons?

Quiet time each and every morning builds my relationship with Christ. Enough said. It makes everything better. It makes the times I have no words for prayers, just groans, bearable. There is a light in our home and in me when I begin each day with God. Quick prayers on the run just don't work for me anymore. Halfway putting in a show of effort a few times a week just doesn't cut it. I know this yet, at times I push back. Why?

Lately, I've felt the Spirit encourage me to give up something. I know exactly what. I cannot figure out why in the world I need to do so. A friend pointed out that sometimes it's more about obedience than the what.

I keep asking,
"Why??? Are you sure??? Have I imagined this?"

Yet, this nagging feeling doesn't leave me. I wish I could say I was finally obeying out of a grateful heart. Instead, I'm obeying and praying for God's help to obey. And worrying about when I'll disobey and when I'll get time off for good behavior. I'm also praying I won't have to do this very long, which probably destroys in value of obeying in the first place.

Dearest Lord,
Thanks for your timing in my life. Time for me to realize that You are Lord of all. Thank you for the time to be stubborn, yet still delightfully loved by You. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for those brief moments of clarity. I ask forgiveness for my stubbornness and self-centeredness. I beg for your strength to follow and to be filled by Your spirit, so I might know and understand you better. In your son's most holy name. Amen.

Trying to Memorize Scripture

Memorizing scripture has been on my heart for a while. However, every time I consider trying to memorize scripture I told myself I just couldn't. It would be impossible. Yet this morning when I picked up my stack of index cards where I jot favorite scriptures, I realized today was the day to start. The one on top was a perfect one for my day today.

Above all, let me love others deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins. Let me use whatever gift I have received, faithfully administering your grace in its various forms. Let me serve with the strength that you provide, so in all things you, O Lord, receive the credit and the glory. 1 Peter 4:8-11

I even memorized where the scripture is found. Amazing.

I've also realized that I could. I just didn't want to put forth the effort. In that, I was disobedient to the urging of the Spirit. I also know that listening and following God's urging will bring His blessing to my life. This isn't a hard task to avoid; it's a celebration of God's living word in my life. Thank You, Lord!