Much of the worry that Hon and I contemplated the other night at dinner has stemmed from being close to another family. This dear family is going through something with one of their children that we never want to face.
Our children are their own people. They will make choices and mistakes that shock us at times. We cannot control their entire lives and actions. Children of good parents make bad choices. Still, that doesn't let me off the hook. We need to take our role in forming their ideas and morals seriously.
Hon and I are really looking at our parenting. Are we doing what we need to do as parents? Are we doing what we should? How do we help our children form the love for God, morals, ethics, sense of self-worth and responsibility they will require as adults? It is a huge undertaking.
My heart is broken for our dear friends. At some point in my children's lives they are going to do something I can't even imagine. I know I did this to my parents. I had my own difficult lessons to learn on my own terms. So will our children. However, this has been a wake-up call for Hon and I. We don't always do the right thing. We have let our selfish desires over ride better choices for our kids. We've been known to take the easier, less confrontational way out. It's time to stand up and make sure our kids are learning the lessons they need now to become successful as adults. (And by successful, I mean happy, at peace, and God loving. Preferably with a good job.)
In the middle of this panic of "Are we doing our job as parents?", there have been gracious God moments. Little things that unless you lived our unique flavor of crazy they probably wouldn't mean a whole lot to you. Fred used a fork with his strawberries just to make his dad happy the other night. This is right after Hon and I had a long private discussion about who should continue to point out Fred's lacksadaisical table manners. Everyone cuddling up for family time at night with little prompting. Watching my shy children try to smile and shake hands with new people at church. Enjoying the laughter and silliness. Feeling the love. Letting their dad give them pointers at the bowling alley and enjoying a great score.
I have the huge gift of being home with the kids each day. I drive them crazy with my questions and always having one more little chore they could do for me as they walk through the room. Luckily, I get the gifts of their long-winded moments in the car running errands when I can actually learn about their days. I get to kiss them goodbye as they head off to school.
I pray they someday realize the effort their dad puts in with them. How he plays games with them not for himself. How he makes them help with a project not for their assistance but for their companionship and education. How he, not mom, goes to every game and most practices. How he'll read a book while yet another Disney show on TV instead of the game to be in the same room with them. I hope they realize his love language is the time he spends with them.
I pray for our dear friends. I pray they realize how God is standing right beside them in this catastrophe. I pray that the correct lessons are learned and lives are changed. I pray that God has this situation firmly in His hands for His good purpose.
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