Solving Life's Mysteries through an Episode of Oprah

I watched Oprah yesterday.

I know it's a major event. Actually it was a rare event. While I love Oprah, life keeps me pretty busy most days around 4 pm.

Anywhoo, she interviewed Jamie Lee Curtis and Selma Hayak separately about completely different things. Contradictory ideas actually.

You see, Jamie was talking about shedding the layers of her life and getting down to her essential self. Being truly true and honest with herself. I have to admit I loved her. She talked of choices she made when she was younger (baring herself in Trading Spaces), and how she would never had done it if she knew then what she knows now. She spoke briefly of her marriage and family. She seemed like a woman who has grown to know herself pretty well. She had two great soap box moments. In fact, she was so totally intent on getting her idea out, I think her enthusiasm might of scared Oprah just a little.

First, she talked about how she hates false advertising. How the dream of the easy life advertisers use with all sorts of products and lifestyles is just a lie. Plastic surgery for only vanity does not make your life any better. It's still you in the mirror with the same problems, emotions, and baggage.

I am slowly learning this myself. Not about plastic surgery, but purchases in general. Before I purchase something new be it clothing, something for the house, any kind of want, I try to ask myself, "Will this purchase make my life better? Will it really make a difference in my true happiness.?" Some things do, some things don't, and I still make plenty of purchases, but there is perspective.

Later, Jamie spoke of a children's game she once represented. She had stated to the makers that she loved how in the game you could lose everything and have to start all over. However, the game makers had learned that today's mothers really didn't like the temper-tantrums that resulted from that part of the game, so the makers deleted it from the game. Jamie's point was, "What in the world is that kind of thinking doing for our children?" Making life or games easier for our children does not make life easier for them.

Exactly I say. Better for our children to have the tantrums, make the mistakes, and experience life's growth producing failures while we're beside them guiding them, than later when they've tried to move off on their own. A bad day is always better with mom and dad beside you agreeing it's a bad day and sharing insights on how to make it better.

Jamie's appearance was followed by Selma Hayak. Selma was talking of her new daughter, her fiancee, and her charity work with Unicef. Her charity work with Unicef is very honorable. I loved how she admitted that nursing is doing nothing to help her lose weight. I had the same experience. Then, she talked about her engagement.

This is where I might be a little judgmental. She says this is her relationship, and it works for she and her fiancee. Forgive me, but here's how I see it.

She talked of how they love each other so much and have such a bond they really don't feel they need an actual marital contract. Then mere moments later, she spoke of the power she holds by not marrying her child's father. By not marrying him, he always has to work a little harder to keep her. He has to be nicer and better to her. Every time they see each other it is soooo romantic. It is such an "Event." Her word choice not mine.

So which is it? Their bond is so strong. Or she has to keep a little of herself back to keep him interested?

That doesn't sound very healthy to me. In fact, as a mother of 3 children, that sounds rather tiring.

I've had more beautiful moments in my marriage than I can remember, but one of the most freeing moments came about year seven. I realized we weren't just married for the romance. We weren't going to make it to year 50, because we love each other so much. We are family. We are family for life. That moment will stand in my mind forever. The layers of trying to attract and hold on to a husband, and who I was as an individual, as a wife, as a mother fell away, and I saw us as a family. Connected through all time. Oh, there are beautiful days, and days I'd like to do corrective surgery on, romantic days and big events to get through, but they our days and that's worth more romance or any event we could ever dream up.