As I was preparing to write the whiniest, pity party of a post of my life, God just gave me a good chuckle.
My son The Dude is very reserved. To get dressed he keeps his door locked and his towel wrapped around his waist while he puts on his shirt and pulls up his underwear. He cries out in agony when he walks in on his mom, me, getting dressed.
His grandma just went into his room to wake him up wrapped only in a towel. He either raced for his bathroom to escape the terror or dove deeper under the covers never to emerge again. Hee-hee-hee.
So where does that leave my whiny post?
I wanted to cry and have a little pity party about how although I know we've been covered in God's love and care for the past week, our full lives actually, that I feel numb. I'm having trouble hearing God or even praying the way I usually do. My prayers are still desperate cries for help. Just the words, "Help!", or "Please!" and once , "You better fix this God!.......Please?"
I'm in a place I don't understand and I worry about how long I'll be here and the flood that might come when I'm not.
I know with more rest things will look better. We have so much to be thankful. But there is still the numbness. And the only emotions that get through are punchy laughter or tears.
A dear, spectacular banana bread toting woman stopped by yesterday while I was trying to nap. When I asked Hon who it was he replied, "You know that girl we talk to at church."
Funny enough that actually narrowed it down. I asked how her visit went and Hon said,
"She said something...I cried..I'm an emotional wreck."
All we could do was laugh.
Writing this nonsense actually helps.
Hon thought he had food poisoning last Monday night. When he couldn't stand up Tuesday morning, we knew we were headed to the Emergency Room. It turns out his appendix ruptured, and he spent 6 days in the hospital. We have been surrounded by the love and care of our dear friends and family. It was an exhausting week. It gets a little better each day. I pray his recovery is filled with love between us. My love and sympathy goes out to those who suffer so much more than our mere week in the hospital.
My son The Dude is very reserved. To get dressed he keeps his door locked and his towel wrapped around his waist while he puts on his shirt and pulls up his underwear. He cries out in agony when he walks in on his mom, me, getting dressed.
His grandma just went into his room to wake him up wrapped only in a towel. He either raced for his bathroom to escape the terror or dove deeper under the covers never to emerge again. Hee-hee-hee.
So where does that leave my whiny post?
I wanted to cry and have a little pity party about how although I know we've been covered in God's love and care for the past week, our full lives actually, that I feel numb. I'm having trouble hearing God or even praying the way I usually do. My prayers are still desperate cries for help. Just the words, "Help!", or "Please!" and once , "You better fix this God!.......Please?"
I'm in a place I don't understand and I worry about how long I'll be here and the flood that might come when I'm not.
I know with more rest things will look better. We have so much to be thankful. But there is still the numbness. And the only emotions that get through are punchy laughter or tears.
A dear, spectacular banana bread toting woman stopped by yesterday while I was trying to nap. When I asked Hon who it was he replied, "You know that girl we talk to at church."
Funny enough that actually narrowed it down. I asked how her visit went and Hon said,
"She said something...I cried..I'm an emotional wreck."
All we could do was laugh.
Writing this nonsense actually helps.
Hon thought he had food poisoning last Monday night. When he couldn't stand up Tuesday morning, we knew we were headed to the Emergency Room. It turns out his appendix ruptured, and he spent 6 days in the hospital. We have been surrounded by the love and care of our dear friends and family. It was an exhausting week. It gets a little better each day. I pray his recovery is filled with love between us. My love and sympathy goes out to those who suffer so much more than our mere week in the hospital.
1 comment:
Be gentle with yourself, my dear friend. Think about what your instincts would be with a friend who had experienced these last couple weeks that you have experienced, and then give yourself that same loving care. You would say, take deep breaths and keep praying. You would say, one day at a time. You would say, GET SOME SLEEP! You would say, we will pray the extra words for you until you can pray them for yourself.
And give yourself permission to whine and moan a bit, for goodness sakes!! You have earned it!
Prayers and hugs for you and your sweetie. LOVE YOU!!
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