Etiquette Lessons for Shy 10 Year Olds

The Dude can be very shy, reserved, and cautious. Unless he's 99% sure of the outcome of his actions, he's unlikely to act. He usually needs a more boisterous friend to balance his reserved nature.

There is a boy The Dude's age, who was in his class last year, two doors down. A nice family. He's as shy as The Dude. Therefore, they never play. However, on Saturday due to a little motherly intervention, they had plans to play. So I suggested he walk two doors over and ask his friend to come over.

"But Moooommm, what do I do," he worried.

"You walk over, knock on the door, and say, 'Do you want to come over?'" I explained.

A few minutes passed, and I had not heard our front door open or close.

"Dude, are you going yet?" I asked.

"But Mom, I forgot. What am I supposed to say?" he asked.

This went on for at least 10 minutes.

"Do you want to come over? Repeat it with me." I practiced with him.

Finally, I pushed him out the front door. Ten minutes later when he and his friend had not appeared I called our neighbor. I asked if the boys were playing there, and explained our small drama. It turns out The Dude knocked on their door. The neighbor's mom answered the door and The Dude stood there, silently (probably thinking, what did mom say again?). She asked if he wanted to come inside. The Dude nodded, took off his shoes, and headed in for an afternoon of fun. Talking was completely unnecessary.

The other mom and I laughed. She worries about their future wives. The strong silent type looks good but can drive us talkative women insane. I'm glad they're still 10. I'm glad there's still time to nurture and model normal conversation. Even though he's quiet, The Dude is very observant. He makes me laugh and shake my head, and thank God for such a sweet gift.