Eye of the Storm

There are certain days of the month that I need my own Emergency Broadcast Announcement. I'm sure some of you can relate. I think mine would go kinda like this...

We interrupt your life for this true Emergency Broadcast Announcement...Repeat...This is not a test. There is a real and present danger to you from...Your Hormones! At this time you must warn all people in your presence to seek immediate and safe shelter for the next 24-48 hours.

You are in the direct path of the storm. Remind yourself of the following to avoid as much embarrassment as possible.

• People are not breathing in an attempt to annoy you.
• Lulls in conversation do not mean people hate you.
• People are not purposefully trying to hurt your feelings...
• Therefore, all advice is not severe personal criticism of you.
• Your husband was not born to make your life miserable. He actually still loves you.
• Your children are adorable. Remember this one, because...
• Only animals eat their young.
• The teachers are not trying to kill the parents with homework.
• You are not worthless, and your life is not falling to pieces.
• The Internet is not eating your email.
• The zit on your face is not the size of Mt. Everest, but you really should raid your teenager's supply of acne medicine.
• Rotten TV is on everyday, not just today.
• All traffic is not trying to cut you off. Your fellow carpoolers are not all idiots.
• Birds poop on every one's cars.
• Telephone solicitors should be avoided at all costs.
• Do not try any financial or purchasing transactions. If things go awry you could be held responsible for all hissy fits you pitch.
• And finally, in case of spontaneous crying, take to your bed with as much chocolate as you can carry.

Thank goodness the storm has passed. Can someone remind me in 28 days???