Raising Girls, Raising Daughters

How do we raise daughters we will admire as women when they grow up?

I rediscovered this little book Mother to Daughter while organizing today. No, it doesn't have all the answers, but it does have a few gems. Many of her insights truly hit home and a couple need to be tatooed on my body parts as reminders. It is well worth the quick read.

I think what we need to realize most about raising our daughters is that we should always act and behave how we want them to act and behave as women. Our daughters will be learning by our example every day of our lives. They will see through all our pretenses and feel our hypocrisies. We should talk with them about why we make the decisions we do and how we learned how to make those decisions.

I also found this book A Book for my Daughter by Pamela Winterbourne. I think if we remind our daughters often what she has to say we'll stay on the right course.

Here's some of what she had to say:

Wherever you are, and whatever you are doing,
you are always in my heart.
Let us never forget the wonderful times we have had together -
In which sometimes I led the way,
and other times you led.
May there always be places for you attain peace.
Savor the myriad small pleasures in life.
May you have many moments of success...
I know you will keep alive your capacity for wonder and delight.
Follow your boundless curiosity,
and the creative impulse which awoke in you so early.
May you travel widely,
and take from each place its unique goodness.
Enjoy a great variety of people,
growing from you friendships.
I am confident you will dream grandly,
as you did as a child...
Always know that I love you,
and am grateful for your presence in my life.

As a daughter who has never had a great relationship with my mother, I am more than a little nervous about raising my own daughter. I do a lot of praying, and I try to remember what drove/drives me crazy about my own mother.

And did I mention I do a little praying.

Mostly I pray that she'll like me when she grows up, and occasionally along the way. See I know if I'm doing my job correctly - that is raising her to be a strong, secure, happy woman - she's not always going to like me very much. I just hope when she's my age, spending time with her old mother will be a joy, not a required headache.